Tan Yia Swam

Mr Speaker, in my view the proposed amendments are nothing more than stating the current social norms. I am not a lawyer; let the lawyers discuss the legal aspects of the implications of such a change. I am not a religious leader; I look to them to lead the future discussions of what their faith finds permissible.

I speak to you now as a doctor and as a mother of boys. As a doctor, I will treat all patients who come before me equally, regardless of race, language or religion and I add sexual preferences or gender identity. I ask about this only to advise on any impact on their medical care.

As a mother of young boys, I want for them a world where they can grow safely in. But what does that mean? Think back to your own growing years. It was a time to find yourself, your identity and who you are and I dare say that there are some adults who are still searching or may never find the answer their whole lives. We form our identity through multiple factors. Our character at birth, be it extro introverted, then shaped by family, school and peers. Teenagers explore their sexuality and their gender identity.

In my time, tomboyish girls and effeminate boys were given mocking and even derogatory names. For those of us who were lucky to never be confused as to whether you like a boy or girl, it was already not easy. We still worry and fuss over whether your crush likes you back, collect red saga seeds, fold hearts from bus tickets and listen to heartbreak songs.

For those who felt an attraction to someone of the same gender, I can only imagine the fear and anxiety. Fear that there's something wrong with you, that your parents will disown you, that your friends will call you a freak. How many have suppressed their feelings and stayed single or went on to have a heterosexual relationship just to fit in? And how many are deeply unhappy?

For those who have advocated actively for LGBTQ rights, I applaud their steadfast commitment and bravery. I am glad that one key change will be achieved, the decriminalisation of the homosexual male. I look to an environment where each person can grow and explore safely.

As I've said in most of my other speeches, education is key. Education by the family, by formal schooling and by the various faiths. For those people facing conflicts and stress, there must be safe havens for them to seek fair and balanced counselling without undue influence. Perhaps the healthcare profession needs to step up and lead this with paediatricians, psychiatrists, psychologists who are trained and experienced, professional providers who do not impose their personal views.

In the school, I urge the Ministry of Education to review the sex education component to ensure that it is based on science and facts, while controversial opinions and trends are clearly stated as such. This will be a guide for parents to use in our own conversations at home with our growing children.

To fellow parents, if you, like me, grew up without any knowledge of LGBT terms, let us educate ourselves. What is hetero, homo, pan or asexual? What is trans or cisgender? What is sexual orientation versus gender identity? Only then are we equipped to guide our children as they grow and explore.

We fear what we don't know. We react with anger when we are hurt. We are all talking a lot, but are we listening? I am deeply aware of how divisive discussing LGBT rights is, and how society may become fragmented. We are one Singapore, one united people. I urge everyone to stay calm and be kind.

The above notwithstanding, I support both amendments.